just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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