Just cropdusted the office
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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