I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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