I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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