She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i can't believe i had my finger in that
why do cheetos always look like penises
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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