like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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