Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
