It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
