You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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