I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize