Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
