your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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