somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We're too hungover to prance.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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