Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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