so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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