Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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