Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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