pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
