She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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