the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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