All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
