There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
