He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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