She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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