Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
