You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
