she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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