You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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