There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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