bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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