Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
