I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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