I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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