I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
