I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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