please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
