I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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