if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
