people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
