ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
