maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
