The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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