It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
