Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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