I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize