why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
