Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
