you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize