i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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