Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We got so high we made milksteak
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
