we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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