Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
