It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize