how can u be prego again
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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