You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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