chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
