Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
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its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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