Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
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at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
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So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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