I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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