Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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