oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
