Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
