i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
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