do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
so much tequila, so little girl.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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