I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
