her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
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He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
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I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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