im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
