Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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