Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
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