The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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