people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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